Kintsugi

A friend of mine once compared her testimony of the gospel to a wall. She told me that all of the discoveries she was making were like tiny cracks in this wall and that while she might have been able to find answers to all of the questions and concerns, there were just too many. 
I didn't really understand it then and I have to admit...I still don't.
It got me thinking about a story I had heard. 

"The ancient Japanese discovered beauty in brokenness. When a ceramic bowl broke they tended to fix it unlike us who are used to throwing it away. A 15^th century Japanese shogun sent a broken tea bowl back to china to have it repaired.  It was returned to him in one piece but the way it had been repaired made it look ugly.  He asked some Japanese artisans to fix it.   They developed a method called Kintsugi which simply means ‘golden joinery’. The craftsman used a process where gold dust was used to highlight the cracks and fractures of the bowl. Instead of trying to hide the brokenness, they used gold to highlight it. And these bowls became some of the most valuable pieces of property a person could have. Everyone loved the beauty the cracks provided. In fact they would come to break vessels just so that they could be fixed by the Kintsugi craftsmen. These artists became some of the best craftsmen in the country because even though the break was more obvious, the repair was more beautiful."

I wanted to find the truth.
But that's a little trickier than one might think. People often say that the truth is simple. And it is. History, however, is not. 
So I dug and I researched and I looked for sources that I felt were reliable. 
It cost me hours upon hours of digging and studying and I found that things were inevitably skewed. 
But during this process, my cracks had been filled with gold and now I am stronger. 

You are my sunshine

Who would have thought that there could be so much sunshine in my little shadow.

You Ain't Takin' That From Me

Everyday I fight for
All my future somethings
A thousand little awards
I have to choose between

I could spend a lifetime
Earning things I don’t need
That’s like chasing rainbows
And coming home empty

And if you strip me,
Strip it all away
If you strip me,
What would you find
If you strip me,
Strip it all away
Ill be alright

Take what you want
Steal my pride
Build me up
Or cut me down to size
Shut me out
But I’ll just scream
Im only one voice in a million
But you aint taking that from me

'cuz when it all boils down
At the end of the day
It's what you do and say
That makes you who you are
Makes you think about it,
Think about it
Doesn't it
Sometimes all it takes is one voice

Everyday, I struggle with remembering what's truly important. I see all of the cute things I want: all of the nice cars, big houses, cute clothes and accessories...what are those? Distractions. I need to remember the real rewards of my life: my family, my friends, and my integrity.

Mikayla and I watched "Up" last night. When the old man started throwing all of his furniture out in order to make the house lighter (so the balloons would be able to lift the house up and he could then go and save his little sidekick and the bird...wow, that's a mouthful) Mikayla asked me why he was doing this...I explained that he had to make it lighter to be able to fly. She asked, "But why is he throwing away all of his stuff?" to which I simply said,"because things don't matter, Mikayla...people do."
(This answer seemed to make sense because she said "Oh." and kept watching.)

I hope that I can continue to get this simple, yet difficult, message across. That me and my family will always look for ways to find happiness through helping and standing up for what we believe in rather than through the trivial things that, in the big picture, don't really matter.

My children will hear many voices throughout their lives...I'm only one voice in a million. But there's no way they can hear me if I don't speak up. I not only have to have a voice, but I have to live as an example (which speaks much louder than words).

Don't get me wrong, I still love shopping, I still love decorating...I'm just not going to chase other people's rainbows, but instead, I'm going to be happy with what I have while aspiring to make a better life for me and my family.

This song has so many different ways I can interpret it...maybe I'll post about other ways later ;). I love it!