No Regrets

 

I found myself counting down the hours, the minutes, until naptime. Hunter is away for a guy's weekend with Joel (to Disneyland and Knottsberry Farm) and it was just me and Chloe for a time.
She was being a little bit fussy...but nothing major. Most likely she was just bored, like I was. I think the problem was that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. So, I impatiently looked at the clock and then flipped through some netflix shows.

I remembered an article to Not Carpe Diem. An article that I loved, so I felt justified in my lack of attentiveness. I can't possibly look forward to every single second of every single day. The lady that wrote the article said so. A lot of moms look forward to naptime. I told myself.
And then I thought about something a bit grim, which, as we all know, isn't a new thing for me. I thought about how I would feel should Chloe get tangled up in her shirt as she takes it off in her crib (because that's what she does). What would happen if these moments were my last moments with her?

Now, you.can't.think like that all of the time. You would go crazy.
But I decided to make a conscious effort to turn that moment around. To just be.

However, when you're in line at the grocery store and your toddler is trying to perform great acrobatics feats for the audience by attempting to leap out of your arms as you desperately hold on to her and your son is taking the lane dividers and stretching them out, then moving them and then takes off running down the aisle so you have to leave in order to chase him down, losing your place in line, so you have to start all over again...should I enjoy that moment? The author suggests that that moment is hard. That moment doesn't require you to take the energy to be grateful. Who would be grateful for that moment?? But...

What happens if you finally get out, pile all of your groceries in (find the toothbrush that your son managed to slip into the cart, haul the kids back inside while you put it away, and then reload everyone)...how would you feel if you sat your exhausted self in the driver's seat and on your way home you got into a car accident?

Do not take this life, each and every moment you have with these children, for granted. It is my suggestion that we do carpe diem, every moment.

Always, always look for the good. Always try to live in the moment.

What's so bad about running down the aisle to chase after your son? The looks you get from an older generation? Why do we let other people's ideas of social norms dictate our actions.
Why don't you leave your cart and chase after him. And, I know you are faster than your child, so when you catch him, why don't you tickle him, make him laugh, throw him in the air, love him.
Now...when you get home, you need to have a talk about why he shouldn't run away. IF your answer is because it makes mommy mad, or frustrated, or it's because you can't act crazy in public...then this is clearly not the blog for you. You let him know that you could lose him, and that would break your heart. He can't run away because sometimes there are people who could snatch him away and that his super mommy wouldn't be there to beat that person up. Teach him.
There will be times when he can't run away (like in the parking lot). Know that he will want to, and take preventative steps in that scenario. Tell him what's expected. Put a magnet on the side of the car and have him put his hand on it until it's time to go. 

There will still be fights. There will still be whining. But as we try to parent as God would, then those will (hopefully!) lessen.
However, the point of this post isn't about parenting, necessarily, it's about trying to avoid pitalls that would have us look back with regret. You can be tired. You can get annoyed. The key is to not let it stay that way. To not let it fester. azz3To turn those moments into brief ones and let joy, wonder, and gratitude be the main emotions you feel.
(Here's a great article about trying to avoid ruts as a parent: http://creativewithkids.com/the-day-i-realized-i-was-bullying-my-kids/
Here's a challenge to stop the yelling: http://theorangerhino.com/category/30-days-project/ )

My point is to live with the motto of no regrets.
I personally never want to miss a moment with my children. That's why I wake up in the middle of the night with my baby. The 'what ifs' are too serious for me to ignore.  They make me anxious.
I choose to be grateful for everything, even the chaos.
Am I tired? Yes. Do my children bring me close to the point of having to admit myself into a mental facility? Absolutely. But while in those moments, you can still see the good. 
I choose to live without regrets. 

If you have something you want to do. Something you want to be...do it.
Work toward your goal. You need to take at least a little bit of time each day and seize your dream. Carpe diem.

We can take charge of our lives and our days and do something. Become someone. Improve ourselves, our lives, and the lives of our family.
But, you still have to survive. So whatever you do, do it well and find joy in it. Be grateful for it.
Do what you can to be present and in the moment. Turn crazy or hard moments into memorable ones.
If you're having a rough day at work, you can choose to reward yourself when you get off. Look forward to something. Maybe go buy a few simple gifts for your children for when you go home. You can take a break and do a simple act of service for a coworker. You can look up and smile at people. Buy a homeless person a sandwich on your lunch break. You can take pride in your work and feel good about your accomplishments.

All of us need to get enough sleep, make good choices when it comes to what we eat, exercise, be healthy. If you're healthy then it's easier to have the energy you need to make it through the day.  


By the way...not everything takes energy. You can have peace and be grateful simply watching a movie with your family. You can even have it when they're sick.

Life isn't about being easy, it's about making it worth it.

No Regrets, #23 of 85 8x8s, ©2009. KmBerggren ~ Message from the Artist: Time and time again a quote I once heard occurs to me; that tears cried at graves are often tears of regret, and I’m reminded to make every day count ~ not to be a perfect mother in every day or situation because I know I am incapable ~ but to ensure that above all else, no matter what, my boys and my husband know how I feel… and I show them with my actions and time.

Halloween is almost here!

San Diego 2013

Undead

(I know this is a boy...but let's be honest, I look like this most days...the clothes are pretty much spot on)

What's the first sign of going crazy? Isn't it Hallucinations or something? What about not understanding questions...I think I'm on the verge of going completely cray-cray, ya'll. People are asking me questions in all seriousness and they are NOT making any sense!

"Why is that fat man wearing a red shirt?"
Because he likes the color red? It was laundry day and that's all that was left? I don't know. Eat your bag of goldfish and don't call people fat.

"Why didn't Mikayla drink her water?"
You'll have to ask her. I was too busy chasing a naked eighteen month old around the house with a diaper and cleaning up...ummm...messes.

"How do they make clean yogurt?"
You got me there, Hunter. How DO they make clean yogurt?

 My brain is already frazzled and pretty much mush at this point. I don't want my kids to see the movie warm bodies because they'd get all freaked out that mommy was one.of.them. (Oh. And the language, creepy weird skeletons, and other schtuff may be a teensy bit too much for them.)

And then they go and start talking nonsense. What am I supposed to do with that? I can only make up so many answers! I am not wikipedia for crying out loud!!

Phobias? Again?

Oh...my word. I've talked about my insane phobia before. But did you know that when you have kids, they puke? That was not in the brochure (or on those sweet little huggies commercials). I'm starting to become desensitized...starting. Mikayla had a stomach bug (ie: horrendous-stomach-destroying phobia-inducing-scar-you-for-life-puke-till-your-guts-fall-out flu). But being the good mother that I am, I stayed with her the entire time. That's right. Where's my trophy. I may have been thinking "oh, mygosh, oh, mygosh! Don't puke on me, pleeease don't puke on me! If I get sick I'm going to die. I.will.die. Who gave this to her? WHO??? That's it! She's never go to school again!!" But I was all calm and motherly on the outside and that's really all that matters, right?

Well, now we have a bit of a situation. She now has the same exact phobia. She could just be playing me like a fiddle, knowing how much I hate puke...and it almost worked. "Mommy, Jonas puked in the sink today. I don't want to go to school anymore." "Mommy, another boy threw up. Do I have to go to school? Please don't make me go to school? I don't want to throw up!"

I gotcha sister. I feel the same way "I know sweetie. But germs are everywhere. Do you want to go to the play place?" "Yes!" "Well, honey, germs are there too. The park? Yep...it's got germs too. Flipside? Where do you think you got sick the last time? You can't escape them, honey bunches. Now go get your backpack."

So, yeah. We may have a whole new set of problems now...

Six!

My little girl turned 6 this past November.
She is quite the spirit! She knows what she wants and she'll do whatever it takes to get you to do it for her ;)
She does not.like.school. Every morning she wakes up and tells me over and over that she doesn't want to go. That it's too long. But every day when I pick her up she tells me how much fun she had.
I thought about switching her to half-day, but I found out that when they do that, the cut out all of the fun stuff (PE, Music, Art, recess, and Lunch). So, we talked about it. I told her her options and she decided that she'd rather go full day...even though it was long. She didn't want to miss out on all of the fun stuff!

She has two best friends: Abby (her cousin) and Gabby.
She sings and rhymes all of the time.
She also still loves doing anything creative: coloring, drawing, painting, whatever.
She has a TON of stuffed animals...we might have to take some to the zoo...but she loves, plays with,  and remembers each and every one.
Some days her brother is her best friend. They can spend the entire day playing and exploring outside together.

This year Joel and I had decided to do Christmas a bit differently. Instead of a lot of little presents that would be left for dead in a few weeks, I decided that my kids would get one big present and then we'd use the rest of the money to do a service project (animal rescue, water for Africa, etc).

Earlier in December, my daughter was so sad about not getting a lot of toys and she told me that she didn't want to help people get water, she wanted TOYS! After some more discussion (and more tears), I told her that she could decide...I knew that true to her nature she would give it a lot of thought and make the choice that she thought was best.

A lot of people told me I was crazy (and to be honest, I was nervous!).  However, we talked about it the next day and she told me that she wanted to use the money to help animals. 

I love my girl and her sweet spirit and loving heart.

Polar Express