No Regrets

 

I found myself counting down the hours, the minutes, until naptime. Hunter is away for a guy's weekend with Joel (to Disneyland and Knottsberry Farm) and it was just me and Chloe for a time.
She was being a little bit fussy...but nothing major. Most likely she was just bored, like I was. I think the problem was that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. So, I impatiently looked at the clock and then flipped through some netflix shows.

I remembered an article to Not Carpe Diem. An article that I loved, so I felt justified in my lack of attentiveness. I can't possibly look forward to every single second of every single day. The lady that wrote the article said so. A lot of moms look forward to naptime. I told myself.
And then I thought about something a bit grim, which, as we all know, isn't a new thing for me. I thought about how I would feel should Chloe get tangled up in her shirt as she takes it off in her crib (because that's what she does). What would happen if these moments were my last moments with her?

Now, you.can't.think like that all of the time. You would go crazy.
But I decided to make a conscious effort to turn that moment around. To just be.

However, when you're in line at the grocery store and your toddler is trying to perform great acrobatics feats for the audience by attempting to leap out of your arms as you desperately hold on to her and your son is taking the lane dividers and stretching them out, then moving them and then takes off running down the aisle so you have to leave in order to chase him down, losing your place in line, so you have to start all over again...should I enjoy that moment? The author suggests that that moment is hard. That moment doesn't require you to take the energy to be grateful. Who would be grateful for that moment?? But...

What happens if you finally get out, pile all of your groceries in (find the toothbrush that your son managed to slip into the cart, haul the kids back inside while you put it away, and then reload everyone)...how would you feel if you sat your exhausted self in the driver's seat and on your way home you got into a car accident?

Do not take this life, each and every moment you have with these children, for granted. It is my suggestion that we do carpe diem, every moment.

Always, always look for the good. Always try to live in the moment.

What's so bad about running down the aisle to chase after your son? The looks you get from an older generation? Why do we let other people's ideas of social norms dictate our actions.
Why don't you leave your cart and chase after him. And, I know you are faster than your child, so when you catch him, why don't you tickle him, make him laugh, throw him in the air, love him.
Now...when you get home, you need to have a talk about why he shouldn't run away. IF your answer is because it makes mommy mad, or frustrated, or it's because you can't act crazy in public...then this is clearly not the blog for you. You let him know that you could lose him, and that would break your heart. He can't run away because sometimes there are people who could snatch him away and that his super mommy wouldn't be there to beat that person up. Teach him.
There will be times when he can't run away (like in the parking lot). Know that he will want to, and take preventative steps in that scenario. Tell him what's expected. Put a magnet on the side of the car and have him put his hand on it until it's time to go. 

There will still be fights. There will still be whining. But as we try to parent as God would, then those will (hopefully!) lessen.
However, the point of this post isn't about parenting, necessarily, it's about trying to avoid pitalls that would have us look back with regret. You can be tired. You can get annoyed. The key is to not let it stay that way. To not let it fester. azz3To turn those moments into brief ones and let joy, wonder, and gratitude be the main emotions you feel.
(Here's a great article about trying to avoid ruts as a parent: http://creativewithkids.com/the-day-i-realized-i-was-bullying-my-kids/
Here's a challenge to stop the yelling: http://theorangerhino.com/category/30-days-project/ )

My point is to live with the motto of no regrets.
I personally never want to miss a moment with my children. That's why I wake up in the middle of the night with my baby. The 'what ifs' are too serious for me to ignore.  They make me anxious.
I choose to be grateful for everything, even the chaos.
Am I tired? Yes. Do my children bring me close to the point of having to admit myself into a mental facility? Absolutely. But while in those moments, you can still see the good. 
I choose to live without regrets. 

If you have something you want to do. Something you want to be...do it.
Work toward your goal. You need to take at least a little bit of time each day and seize your dream. Carpe diem.

We can take charge of our lives and our days and do something. Become someone. Improve ourselves, our lives, and the lives of our family.
But, you still have to survive. So whatever you do, do it well and find joy in it. Be grateful for it.
Do what you can to be present and in the moment. Turn crazy or hard moments into memorable ones.
If you're having a rough day at work, you can choose to reward yourself when you get off. Look forward to something. Maybe go buy a few simple gifts for your children for when you go home. You can take a break and do a simple act of service for a coworker. You can look up and smile at people. Buy a homeless person a sandwich on your lunch break. You can take pride in your work and feel good about your accomplishments.

All of us need to get enough sleep, make good choices when it comes to what we eat, exercise, be healthy. If you're healthy then it's easier to have the energy you need to make it through the day.  


By the way...not everything takes energy. You can have peace and be grateful simply watching a movie with your family. You can even have it when they're sick.

Life isn't about being easy, it's about making it worth it.

No Regrets, #23 of 85 8x8s, ©2009. KmBerggren ~ Message from the Artist: Time and time again a quote I once heard occurs to me; that tears cried at graves are often tears of regret, and I’m reminded to make every day count ~ not to be a perfect mother in every day or situation because I know I am incapable ~ but to ensure that above all else, no matter what, my boys and my husband know how I feel… and I show them with my actions and time.