Mothering

Some people seem to have all of the answers when it comes to being a mother and parenting...they see what you are doing and think, or rather know, that they can do it better. We turn to books, to parents, to friends; we fear what others will think if we do something they don't approve of..as if the way we choose to raise our children effects them personally. Schooling, discipline, nutrition....it's all a personal choice. I often forget this, but when I went to a friend's blog she was sharing this video- such a nice reminder that although advice is good, nothing can replace a mother's love and intuition.

Mothering Authentically from Amelia Maness-Gilliland on Vimeo.

Preschool

Apprehensive. Yes, that would definitely be the word I'd use to describe how Mikayla was on her first day of preschool. She looked a little nervous and not exactly sure of what, exactly, it was that she would be doing here with all of these other kids. Joyschool? hmmm...not quite what she remembered. Primary? No...that's not it either..

But Miss Marni was so nice that she soon warmed up to the idea (after all, a lady this nice certainly couldn't have any devious plans in store for her....right?)

Then she felt totally at ease and more than happy when they started studying the ants crawling on the sidewalk...that's my girl!

Excited, she was more than happy to leave me behind for a new adventure. I love you baby girl!! You're growing up way too fast, but at least you're not too old for a huge hug when I came to pick you up (with a happy meal waiting on your seat, of course, with a little dolly as the toy!). I'm so sorry that I forgot to pack your show and tell item and that you had to share your backpack and that the other kids didn't like it, but miss Marni did...=(...next time we'll remember!!

Pride and Prejudice

Tonight as I sat watching my absolute favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice, I found myself becoming extremely jealous. Oh, not for the reason in which I'm sure you're thinking- I'm not jealous of Elizabeth Bennett in having Mr. Darcy, for I believe that I have my own (in his own right). Sure, mine might get tired, frustrated, and he might tease me a little too much- but he loves me and finds joy in my happiness. I can't ask for anything more. (I would like to see Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy after 10 years of marriage, infertility issues, and two children without all of his money!)

No, you see, I like to walk (this ties in, I promise). When I was little, my mom and I used to go on walks all throughout the desert. When I was angry or upset, my dad would put his arm around me and we would walk and talk. Then as I got older, if my parents weren't always available or if they themselves were the object of my frustrations, I found solace in roaming the desert by myself. I loved the freedom of the peace and quiet, of solitude. My thoughts always seemed to be clearer. However, if I could have my choice- the desert would not be my ideal location for taking thses walks (in case you haven't noticed, there are wicked things such as scorpions and snakes slithering around. And while beautiful in it's own way, it is hot and rocky. If you get caught up in your thoughts, you could just as easily get caught up in sticker bushes or if you tend to be clumsy, you could very easily fall...those of you who know me, know that I am exactly that: clumsy). However, I also hate pine trees. I would hate to walk in a forest alone where scary things could be lurking in the darkness of the shadows.

This said, as I watched Elizabeth walk through acres of beautiful lush green grass and rolling hills (it seemed as if she could and did walk for miles this way) I became incredibly jealous. If I could live anywhere-that would be where I would want to live. Give me a place that has that kind of beautiful scenery, where I could walk where ever I could and still be close enough to shopping and entertainment, and I would be the happiest girl. All of the petty things we worry about now- who has the nicest house, car, clothes- wouldn't be as much of an issue. I'd like to think that it would be somehow simpler in a place like that. I don't think that I felt this way when I was younger. However, now as I get older, I realize that while it's good to have dreams, you shouldn't put all of your energy into thinking about them. It's not just me I have to think about now. My husband has a job here. He has family here. We have a home here. It makes me a little sad to realize (and as I get older I do have to realize and accept reality) that I will never call such a place home. I will take what I'm blessed with and make the most of it. I do have a lot to be thankful for and I do love and appreciate all that my husband does for me.

It's also funny to note that I get a little sad whenever I watch Winnie the Pooh (or my Friend's Tigger and Pooh) for the same reason. Oh, how I wish I could live there!