The Story of Mikayla

I sat across from him in the restaurant's booth as he curiously opened my unexpected gift. It wasn't our anniversary. No birthdays. Then, as the layers of tissue paper unfolded to reveal our new secret, I watched as his eyes lit up with the promise of fatherhood.
"Really?" he said, his mouth curving up with a hint of an excited smile.
"I hope so" I quietly replied.
We were happy as we cautiously celebrated the news that night. You see, we knew that this was just the first step. We had lost a baby early in our pregnancy before, so we knew that we still had a long road ahead of us before we could continue on with our journey into parenthood. After we miscarried, I was devastated, but far from broken. It left me with an even stronger determination to find my baby.
This secret joy lasted a bit longer than the last time. This one ended at ten weeks.
I was tired and this time, I was broken.

Then we had a third miscarriage just days after finding out.

I kept working so we could get infertility benefits and we were now going through the steps to have an IUI. I went to work, spending hours on my feet and then drove to North Scottsdale every.single.day for two weeks to get ultra sounds in order to track the progress of the one...one...single, solitary little egg. Finally my body was ready. As the doctor set up the appointment for us to come in the next morning at 7 am for the procedure, he nonchalantly informed me that it probably wouldn't work.

I was beyond tired. My hope was now almost gone.
For me, getting pregnant had never been easy... but, Mikayla my dear,
I fought for you.
I had almost given up. Admitted defeat. But with one final prayer and an encouraging and comforting push from my Heavenly Father, I found strength to stand up and try one more time.

Then you were here, my sweet girl. So you see, Mikayla, you are my hope. When I look at you, full of life with your fiery spirit and your strong will...you are everything that hope is.
When all I wanted to do was give up, you whispered, "Please try it one more time."


Love,
Mom