Pride and Prejudice

Tonight as I sat watching my absolute favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice, I found myself becoming extremely jealous. Oh, not for the reason in which I'm sure you're thinking- I'm not jealous of Elizabeth Bennett in having Mr. Darcy, for I believe that I have my own (in his own right). Sure, mine might get tired, frustrated, and he might tease me a little too much- but he loves me and finds joy in my happiness. I can't ask for anything more. (I would like to see Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy after 10 years of marriage, infertility issues, and two children without all of his money!)

No, you see, I like to walk (this ties in, I promise). When I was little, my mom and I used to go on walks all throughout the desert. When I was angry or upset, my dad would put his arm around me and we would walk and talk. Then as I got older, if my parents weren't always available or if they themselves were the object of my frustrations, I found solace in roaming the desert by myself. I loved the freedom of the peace and quiet, of solitude. My thoughts always seemed to be clearer. However, if I could have my choice- the desert would not be my ideal location for taking thses walks (in case you haven't noticed, there are wicked things such as scorpions and snakes slithering around. And while beautiful in it's own way, it is hot and rocky. If you get caught up in your thoughts, you could just as easily get caught up in sticker bushes or if you tend to be clumsy, you could very easily fall...those of you who know me, know that I am exactly that: clumsy). However, I also hate pine trees. I would hate to walk in a forest alone where scary things could be lurking in the darkness of the shadows.

This said, as I watched Elizabeth walk through acres of beautiful lush green grass and rolling hills (it seemed as if she could and did walk for miles this way) I became incredibly jealous. If I could live anywhere-that would be where I would want to live. Give me a place that has that kind of beautiful scenery, where I could walk where ever I could and still be close enough to shopping and entertainment, and I would be the happiest girl. All of the petty things we worry about now- who has the nicest house, car, clothes- wouldn't be as much of an issue. I'd like to think that it would be somehow simpler in a place like that. I don't think that I felt this way when I was younger. However, now as I get older, I realize that while it's good to have dreams, you shouldn't put all of your energy into thinking about them. It's not just me I have to think about now. My husband has a job here. He has family here. We have a home here. It makes me a little sad to realize (and as I get older I do have to realize and accept reality) that I will never call such a place home. I will take what I'm blessed with and make the most of it. I do have a lot to be thankful for and I do love and appreciate all that my husband does for me.

It's also funny to note that I get a little sad whenever I watch Winnie the Pooh (or my Friend's Tigger and Pooh) for the same reason. Oh, how I wish I could live there!