Phobias? Again?

Oh...my word. I've talked about my insane phobia before. But did you know that when you have kids, they puke? That was not in the brochure (or on those sweet little huggies commercials). I'm starting to become desensitized...starting. Mikayla had a stomach bug (ie: horrendous-stomach-destroying phobia-inducing-scar-you-for-life-puke-till-your-guts-fall-out flu). But being the good mother that I am, I stayed with her the entire time. That's right. Where's my trophy. I may have been thinking "oh, mygosh, oh, mygosh! Don't puke on me, pleeease don't puke on me! If I get sick I'm going to die. I.will.die. Who gave this to her? WHO??? That's it! She's never go to school again!!" But I was all calm and motherly on the outside and that's really all that matters, right?

Well, now we have a bit of a situation. She now has the same exact phobia. She could just be playing me like a fiddle, knowing how much I hate puke...and it almost worked. "Mommy, Jonas puked in the sink today. I don't want to go to school anymore." "Mommy, another boy threw up. Do I have to go to school? Please don't make me go to school? I don't want to throw up!"

I gotcha sister. I feel the same way "I know sweetie. But germs are everywhere. Do you want to go to the play place?" "Yes!" "Well, honey, germs are there too. The park? Yep...it's got germs too. Flipside? Where do you think you got sick the last time? You can't escape them, honey bunches. Now go get your backpack."

So, yeah. We may have a whole new set of problems now...

Six!

My little girl turned 6 this past November.
She is quite the spirit! She knows what she wants and she'll do whatever it takes to get you to do it for her ;)
She does not.like.school. Every morning she wakes up and tells me over and over that she doesn't want to go. That it's too long. But every day when I pick her up she tells me how much fun she had.
I thought about switching her to half-day, but I found out that when they do that, the cut out all of the fun stuff (PE, Music, Art, recess, and Lunch). So, we talked about it. I told her her options and she decided that she'd rather go full day...even though it was long. She didn't want to miss out on all of the fun stuff!

She has two best friends: Abby (her cousin) and Gabby.
She sings and rhymes all of the time.
She also still loves doing anything creative: coloring, drawing, painting, whatever.
She has a TON of stuffed animals...we might have to take some to the zoo...but she loves, plays with,  and remembers each and every one.
Some days her brother is her best friend. They can spend the entire day playing and exploring outside together.

This year Joel and I had decided to do Christmas a bit differently. Instead of a lot of little presents that would be left for dead in a few weeks, I decided that my kids would get one big present and then we'd use the rest of the money to do a service project (animal rescue, water for Africa, etc).

Earlier in December, my daughter was so sad about not getting a lot of toys and she told me that she didn't want to help people get water, she wanted TOYS! After some more discussion (and more tears), I told her that she could decide...I knew that true to her nature she would give it a lot of thought and make the choice that she thought was best.

A lot of people told me I was crazy (and to be honest, I was nervous!).  However, we talked about it the next day and she told me that she wanted to use the money to help animals. 

I love my girl and her sweet spirit and loving heart.

Polar Express

Teeth are over rated.
Seriously. Smoothies, icecream. There are a TON of delicious foods out there that don't require teeth. Isn't pate considered a delicacy or something?

Chloe's teething.

And she's crying all.the.time. I try to do the dishes and she's right there at my knees looking pitifully up at me with big crocodile tears as she wails away.
I make her happy then sneak off to edit pictures and as soon as she notices I'm more than a yard away, she comes crawling and crying over to me. She doesn't want anything to do with baby food but she's so hungry and wants to nurse...a lot.

I was getting beyond frustrated. "The dishes don't care if you're in pain, sweetie, so shush and let me get the dang dishwasher loaded so we have some freaking FORKS for dinner tonight!"
ahem.
Sorry.
I didn't really yell. I promise.
But I did sigh really loudly. (and as all us wives know...I sigh is just as bad as yelling)

Then I looked at her and how me just holding her and dancing with her and feeding her made her feel better and I had a change of heart. My sister and I talked about priorities yesterday after church and in that moment I realized that holding my little baby takes precedence over everything. Everything.

So sorry Joel...we might not have forks for dinner tonight. Again.

Too Heavy

We all know I'm a little bit...umm..warped? I don't know, maybe that's not the right word.
Anyway...
I was thinking about dying (like I said...). There's just been so many sad stories on the news lately about this topic. I know, I know...I shouldn't watch the news...ever. My heart can't take it. I was once at an intersection where this little old man had rear-ended another man and the younger man was yelling at this poor old guy and my heart just broke. I was so close to jumping out giving the young man a lesson in respect! Then I realized that that wouldn't do any good and my daughter needed her mother (I only had the one baby at the time), so I just sat there helplessly waiting for the arrow to turn green.

Back to what I was saying. Since I've become a mother, I've been afraid of death and I always thought it was because I didn't want people to forget me. My husband would remarry and in six month I'd be a distant memory. The ghost of my former self hidden on pictures packed away on an old hard drive somewhere.
But after some thought, I've realized that's not it...not really.

I am scared...so incredibly scared, that my children wouldn't know just how.much I love them.  No one will ever be able to love them as much and as fiercely as I do. The thought of them not being able to feel that and to know that all I've done, all I want to do...is for them.

Right now they never have to worry about feeling inadequate, or like nobody cares about them...I feel as if I could protect them through out their day with a shield, an impenetrable aura of adoration..

Don't get me wrong. There are things I want to do for myself...my bucket list.
1. Be an author...a published author
2. Go to a real masquerade ball in Italy
3. Go to Ireland

But all of those things don't truly matter...I'd be dead...what would I care at that point?
And while my children know now that I love them...if I were to die while they are still so young, they not only would forget me (eventually) but they might not remember how I made them feel.

Okay, enough depressing talk...someone get me some chocolate or icecream...stat.

Love is in the Air

Did I seriously just put that as my title?? Che-HE-sey! Oh, well...it's true.
I feel so happy right now! Why you ask. You can tell that the weather is on the verge of becoming cooler. Crisper. FALL is on the way!!!!!!

Ok, pop quiz time.

What's my favorite Holiday? HALLOWEEN!

When's my birthday? OcToBer 6th!is anybody planning my surprise party yet?! ;)

What's my absolute favorite time of year???? FALL!

Okay, I think I got that out of my system...for now.

Some other things I'm loving right now:

~When I go to drop of my sweet little boy, he crawls up to the front passenger seat to go out that door. I tell him I love him and he says he loves me too. I ask for a hug and a kiss and he quickly obliges. Then, every day without fail, right when he's about to go out the door, he turns back around and looking me straight in the eye says "One more hug and kiss." Of course I accept this, and while his little arms are still wrapped around me he says "No, no...just one more kiss...no, two more kisses."
He then leaps out the door and runs to class.

~ I love getting Mikayla and walking with her to my car (it's parked a couple blocks away from her school). We talk about her day and what she did, who she played with, what she ate...on Monday she asked me why it was a special day. I was able to tell her about September 11th. I successfully held the tears in and explained about coming downstairs, watching the news, the planes, the buildings, people coming together. I told her that we have some very brave men and women who went out and found the bad guys. How they keep us safe. I told her about the firefighters and how while people were running out of the building, they were running in so they could try to save people. We talked about how brave those men and women were and how awesome firefighters are.

~I love all of the fall decor in the stores.

~I love the sweet, cinnamon-y smell of crafts and autumn.

~I love the sweaters and the boots

~I love that I get to cuddle up to my sweetheart by our new fireplace!!!

Be YOU tiful!

I'm ready. Ready to be me. My style. My personality. In how I decorate my home. It feels so good to think this way. It only took me, what...30 years? Being the youngest, I would look to my sisters. Then as I got older, my best friend. Then my boyfriend. Then my husband. And then, worst of all, other women...women I had never even met before (and some that I had).

We all have something unique and lovely to offer this world, let's not hide it. Let's not try to fit into boxes that are not meant for us. Don't crush the beautiful wildflower to try and make a rose.
Be you. Be happy.

For Me?

What is happiness? To me, happiness is all about the gifts. (HA! I bet you thought I'd say something sentimental or deep or maybe even sweet)
When someone sees something that reminds them of you and then uses their hard earned cash to get it because they know you'll like it...well, it gets me all emotional (really? No...but the point is, I really like getting stuff).

You want to know what else I like?
(I know, I know...you're on the edge of your seats aren't you...you've been pondering All Things Ruth for some time now and I'm about to unlock all the secrets. You're welcome.) 
SuPriZeS! I'll let you in on a little secret, I've always wanted a surprise party (Oops,,you're not supposed to tell people you want a surprise party are you?).

Okay, so what do you get when you slap those two magical things together?
A surprise gift!
What??
That's insanely awesome.

Now, how would you feel if someone that knew you so incredibly well were to surprise you with the most miraculous gift imaginable?

That, my friends, is exactly what happened to me.

My Heavenly Father blessed me with the most precious gift...
He knows me better than I know myself...

I wonder how I could've ever felt like my life was complete without her...
but in my heart, I know that I never really felt whole...until now

Every time I look at you, sweet baby girl, I can't help but smile.

When there's chaos all around me (mostly caused by your older siblings), I look at you and the world slows down and all I can see is your sparkling eyes and sweet smile. You make my heart sing with happiness...and that is exactly what you are to me: my happiness.

Family Pictures 2012

Last year I entered a contest for Zeffler Photography and I won a free photoshoot!!!! They are awesome, check 'em out.

"Mommy."
"Yes, son?"
"I want to hug you, and kiss you, and hold you."
"I love that idea Hunter!!"