Aug. 11, 2024
It feels as if I'm waking up from a nightmare only to realize it's reality. Each morning I wake up, I forget that he's gone and then I try to convince myself that it's not real and then it settles in when he doesn't come down the stairs, when I see his picture, when I don't hear his laugh. When I don't see him.
They say it gets better with time, but how can that be true? The longer you're without someone, the more you miss them...not the opposite. Is it that you forget the person? But that sounds like it's own brand of torture.
I'm not sure if it's the same when you lose a baby...because then you're missing what they could have been, but I'm missing who he was.
I'm missing his hugs.
I'm missing hiws laugh.
I'm missing his sense of humor.
And all I want to do is run away to the desert so I can get some space and fresh air, but he was the only person that would've gone with me. I should have gone with him more.
